Month: September 2008

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Who Cut The Cheese?

So the quote goes “It’s better to fart in public and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain.”

That’s the saying my mother has lived by all of her life. Believe me, I’m not letting any of the skeletons out of our family closet, if you know my mother, she’s comfortable bearing shame and not the pain.

When my sister and I were kids, if she had to pass some gas at a restaurant or while shopping she was quick to let people know around us that it wasn’t her but one of us. “taawd, did you poo-poo in your diaper?” “taawyna, do you not feel good, does your little tummy hurt?” she’d ask us, all while passing a little flatulence.

Nothing is holy to her, not even church, where she was known to cut the cheese, in the SBD form.

On our way home from church, it was like 10 degrees outside and my grandfather was driving. My mother stepped on a duck and the smell wafted through the car. My grandfather, who doesn’t say much, exclaimed “Jo!” and then proceeded to roll down ALL of the windows and let the cold in and the smell out.

I love my mother, even the farting, just not the smell!

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“I’m Yours” But Not By Jason Mraz


Okay, you’re likely to get a lot of posts from me this week because 1) I’m sick right now so I’m not out and about. 2) I’m on vacation. I was searching for Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” and stumbled across bing0519’s cover of the song. I started looking at some of their other videos. I both enjoyed and had to laugh a couple of times. Not in a bad way but in a fun way. Check them out for yourself and see what you think.

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An Open Letter To The Truck Operator

Dear Constantly Backing Up Truck Guy,

I hope you are enjoying your Tuesday as much as I am. I’m nursing a cold but still want to enjoy the fresh [sic] air that Cleveland has to offer. It is 64 degrees out there and I’d like my air conditioner to have a little break.

I’ve opened up my sliding glass door to let the cooler air into my place. Now I have one question, with the sound of your reverse warning signal, by the way, I’m hearing loud and clear, shouldn’t you be close to Canada or Columbus by now with all of your reversing?

I can’t see how you are going forward. I can hear the fact you are going in reverse. That must really tick off your co-workers who must be trying to load dirt or debris into your truck bed. Just when they get close enough, you must put your vehicle in reverse again. I know, I can hear you.

Take my advice, put the sucker in park for a couple of minutes, give me a little break from your noise pollution and allow your co-workers to get some stuff done.

By the way, I’m on vacation and you’re not, so there!

By your antics, you must think you’re one funny SOB,

[with credit to Narm for the writing style, sorry about the lack of Lou Bega references, it’s just so tricky, tricky to figure out a way to include one.]

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The Game Of Catch-Up

The week has arrived, the birthweek. At the risk of seeming cocky, I don’t celebrate just a birthday, it’s an entire week of fun. Hey then getting older isn’t as stressful and depressing. The last sentence was there to pacify anyone who would claim I had a big ego or something. Truth is, I don’t, get over it.

Friday night was a night of absolute rest. I loved it, every minute of it.

Saturday night was the Emmy’s you saw the update, I didn’t win, again it was just an honor to be nominated. The after-party for me was a lot better than the Emmy’s themselves.

During the ceremony, something went awry in the Marriott and the fire alarms went off. Everyone looked around wondering it was part of the show, then we got word, we had to evacuate the place. Half way to the end, everyone had to leave their table and head outside into the sticky Saturday night Cleveland air. Just as I hit the door, one of the worker told me it was okay to go back. I then walked back up the escalator and once again took my seat. NewsChannel 5 took several awards. I’m not going to list them here but congratulations everyone!!

Sunday was filled with sleep and then getting ready for the game. I wondered was Father Time effing with my clock because it was 5:00pm somewhere and that somewhere was Cleveland. That creeped up on me. My friend, Kevin, brought up some cornhole boxes and some beanbags. I’m now a proud member of the clan of people who own them. My grandparents made them for me. How awesome are they? Seriously!

We got some Rock Bottom (Sign Update: ROCK OTTOM) and I want to tell you the sliders are great on Gamedays. Shameless plug, if you haven’t gone to Rock Bottom, check it out, or check it out again. It’s got a great group of servers, great food, brews and management. Thanks Marco for the birthday present food. I love the Big Cuba Melt (you’ll find it on the menu as Little Havanna Melt, I have to be different) There several tappings coming up this week. Don’t miss them.

We headed down to the game, got to hang out with Rebecca, Rodger, Dave, Marie, Kevin and Nicole for a little tailgating. The game’s outcome wasn’t what I wanted. There are a fun group of people in Section 514. One woman’s thong was riding so far up I thought it was almost her bra. Thanks to the guys in the row below us for providing witty commentary.

During the night as Kevin slumbered on the couch, I got about 7 text messages and calls. Many of them about power. Having no power can be both scary and inconvenient. That’s why if you have a home phone, corded phones can be your friends. I hope the power is restored soon. It does give you an excuse though to be late for things. “My power was out!” Sometimes you just need days like these.

So here I am, sitting on my floor (I’m a big floor person) and thinking about the last year and all of the changes. That’s another blog. I looked forward to this week for weeks and I’m contently bored. There’s a strange phenonomen I experience I look at the clock a lot when it’s 9:20pm. That’s a special day… ‘tember 20! The countdown is on folks to the age of 36. It should be a good year. Hopefully one of the best, I’m ready to take it all on, sign me up, coach, sometimes it’s better not knowing what you’re getting yourself into and just going one step at a time. That’s my new motto, it’s good advice!

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WEWS at the Emmys

back row: Dave Hatala, Ron Regan, Matt Spurrier, taawd, Duane Pohlman, Joe Pagonakis, Ted Kortan
front row: Dorian Thompson, Jen Brockman, Mel Watson, Tara Sutton, Jill Manuel
photo credit: Dorian Thompson
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Just Happy To Be Nominated…

11pm producer Tara Sutton, Special Projects Executive Producer Jennifer Brockman, taawd

I didn’t win but it was a reason to dress up.Channel 3 News at 7pm won Best Newscast. Congratulations to the station that got me started WKYC!! More on the ceremony tomorrow, here’s a teaser, there was a fire drill in the middle of the event.