My Memory

I’m officially getting old.

No, it’s not the fact that my hair is retreating from the crown of my head faster than Michael Phelps can swim.

No, it’s not because my get up and go, done got up and went.

No, it’s not because just looking at a baked potato can add a couple of pounds to my belly.

I know I’m getting old because my memory isn’t what it once was.

Now, before you advise me to opt for Alzheimer’s testing, I just can’t remember some of the people who I went to school with. I blame Facebook for making this fact clear to me. Of course, the site wants to suggest friends to me. A lot of the people it suggests went to high school around the same time I did but dang if I can’t recall half of them.

How do I know they’re the right people? The classmates who I do recall are mutual friends with them. It’s infuriating! The conspiracist in me thinks someone (or facebook) is making these people up and using stock photos of them. They’re so close to people who I would otherwise know. I never knew a “Richard” but I did know a “Rick”. Why would you go back to “Richard” when everyone knows you as “Rick” It’s confusing to me. Maybe this is all a game like the “Truman Show.”

I can recall being a kid and flipping through my mother’s yearbook and quizzing her on people. As I remember, she didn’t do half bad identifying some of the people but she couldn’t remember all of them. You know, it’s like being on Price Is Right and stopping just short of winning the Showcase Showdown. That sort of thing. I would always say “Mom, how can you forget someone who you went to school with?” She said “Just wait, you’ll see.” Mom, I see…

I also recently had a friendly argument with my sister about one former classmate’s identity. I don’t know why I questioned her, she’s like a living, walking diary of our childhood. I swear she could tell you what I was wearing on October 15, 1988. I’m sure it was cool, by the way. I got the last name confused with another guy with the same first name. Oh, I’m a genius alright and I’m sure my sister took a little stock (albeit GM) in knowing she was right.

I’m not happy having the problem of not remembering people. It just ain’t right. I mean c’mon, I’m not that old but the memory isn’t as sharp, OR maybe it’s just that I have so much MORE to remember. Yeah, that’s the ticket! But in this dome, you’d think I’d still have plenty of space left. It’s kinda like forgetting phone numbers, isn’t that what your cell phone is for? It’s like having a spare hard drive off your main computer. It doesn’t keep the brain on its toes though.

I blame cell phones. I blame Facebook. Of course, I don’t blame me…